This almost should be two posts and I haven't been so chronological in the last few posts, which is triggering my OCD, but I can't figure out how to easily organize them otherwise!
I have a way of getting things I wish for... My earliest "I want that one" memory is of the Care Bears playdough set I won during a Yule Log hunt. Burger King crowns were hidden all over the Green Belt with numbers on them that corresponded to prizes. On the way back to the Stone House, I unknowingly traded for my winning crown!
Ryan experienced this early in our marriage when we were playing Candyland and I got Princess Lolly right after saying "I want that card". He thought I had cheated!
So, the evening before free bread delivery (Thursday), I told Ryan that I needed a 1/4 sheet cake with white frosting that I could redecorate for Alexander's birthday... It turned out that I was the one who went for bread and when I got to the office, one of the neighbor kids was holding the (one and only) cake I was looking for... It was fortuitous that he had grabbed it because a lot of times the bread products are snatched up quickly. I convinced him that he wanted cinnamon rolls instead of the cake (his mom later thanked me for helping him choose :)
It was a "balloon cake" so all I had to do was remove the plastic balloons and a few colored frosting balls and smooth out the white frosting. Alexander wanted an Angry Bird/Thomas Cake. We found Angry Bird fruit snacks at BB and B a few days before and I used our Angry Bird board game catapolt (the boys love the game).
Here they are plotting about what candy they'll eat first. We had the cake before lunch so that Ryan could go study for the day.
It's good we took a lot of photos of Alexander opening presents because he's convinced he didn't have a birthday celebration.
This is my version of Buzz Lightyear in Connectagons. I didn't get photos of the Woody and Ham I built for him.
I wasn't very impressed with Kiddie Candids, but Alexander was so excited about the "Jimmer Picture" and he looks so grown up in the photo on the right.
I had a hard time not buying the photo with him and the 3 block out of tradition, but the only one with a good smile looks very similar to his photo last year.
Ryan's mom came to town for the weekend. After Alexander's photos she took us to Red Robin. The boys really wanted to drive the race boats and she let them race twice.
While they were riding the escalator James wanted a ride on the carousel. B and A were convinced it was unfair that James got a ride and they didn't. We tried to explain that James didn't get to race the boats. They threw quite the fit leaving the mall.
Chuck E. Cheese has been regular thing for special occasions while we've been in UT. We went Monday night after Ryan's mom flew home.
Foreshadowing of what it will be like when these boys are teenagers and driving?!
Alexander was sad that we didn't see the guy dressed up as Chuck E. Cheese. I told him I thought either the guy was sick or he only shows up on weekends... SO, if Alexander started pooping in the potty and got his 5 stickers we could go back even if it was next weekend.
I started potty training Alexander in August because he was waking up dry. I didn't know what a big deal it was that B. was poop trained before pee trained and that a lot of kids struggle with poop training. I stopped the training b/c I couldn't get A. to poop on the potty. He did it once probably by accident and there was a single sticker on his chart for the last 6 months.
I was in the process of researching potty chairs for him because he always goes in his room and shuts the door behind him when he's pooping. I almost sprained my ankle or broke something when I tripped on more than one occasion while chasing him into his room so I could grab him and try to carry him to the potty in time, but I was always too late by the time I got to him. The good thing was that he never peed at the same time as pooping and was only doing one solid one a day so it was fairly easy clean-up, so in January he pee trained quickly and I just put him in underwear expecting to have to clean him up once a day. It was an okay system for the time being, but I was also trying to figure out what would work to get the job done.
We went to his 3 yr check-up at the Dr. on Tues and talked about it a little, but with no solutions. I never did make it up to Ikea to buy the potty chair. Then on Weds evening, after Alexander sat on the potty twice earlier in the day to no avail, I was in the kitchen with James in his high-chair and Alexander started yelling from the bathroom "I pooped, I pooped" and he had. He proceeded to fill his chart the next day. I finally told him that he didn't need to force out little poops just to get more stickers because we would be going to Chuck E Cheese on Saturday.
For how sad A. was about missing Chuck E. Cheese, he was still weary of him and sure didn't want to pose for a photo with him. James wan't impressed either.
BTW, Saturday is NOT the day for Chuck E Cheese b/c it's really crowded and hot. Monday was a much less claustrophobia inducing experience.
As an aside, we took a neighbor girl with us to Chuck E Cheese on Saturday and she spilled a full cup of root beer in my van on the ride home. I'm sure if she were my own child I would have yelled at her for making a mess. I pondered the situation quite a bit.
That morning, I had gone to the Worldwide Leadership Training for our church and this quote from Elder Russell M. Nelson really hit me: "...[W]e are raising our children in enemy-occupied territory. The homes of our members must become the primary sanctuaries of our faith, where each can be safe from the sins of the world." (See:
https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-leadership-training/2012/01/the-doctrinal-importance-of-marriage-and-children?lang=eng)...Our home should be a holy place like the temple (Hint: that's why we named our blog what we did). When I go to the temple, I feel peace. I want my children to feel peace in our home and like it is a refuge from the "war zone". They can't or won't if I'm yelling. I want to treat my children as well if not better than I would treat other people's children and I want them to feel safe, protected, and to feel joy (inner peace) in our home.
We had a family council at Chuck E Cheese on the Monday (It was torture for the boys to have to wait to use their tokens!) and we found out we all disliked the same things about our family (just from different perspectives). I promised the boys I would go to sleep earlier so I can be more patient. They are currently working on incentive charts of not bullying (B.) and not whining (A.) We're only on day 2 (as of 23 Feb), but it seems to be helping so far. Wow, it's hard to change ingrained habits.
M&M obedience training has been helping too and I probably need to start that up again (Benjamin obeys the first time more than ever before and I'm doing a lot less counting)... but for now we'll focus on the bullying.
Ryan and I are also trying to use the Taoist philosophy of Wu Wei. Ryan explains it as being like water flowing... Not getting crazy when our kids are crazy... Not taking things too seriously... And not getting upset about things that don't really matter. We want to teach our children to use their agency and not just be acted upon, or directed, or told, "YOU WILL OBEY!"... We really can't control their actions (just give consequences), so why pretend we do?!
